I used to watch you pass by at 17
Heart broken, jaded and mean,
I’m not much different now.
No, not much better now.
Not much change Thursday, Jun 10 2021
Uncategorized consequences, crap writting, drunkiegail, dunkiegail, emotions, fading thoughts, fallout, I, rambling, random, rant, sadness, shit writing., short creative writing, short except of my life, shorts 4:52 am
You shall welcome us. Wednesday, Feb 3 2021
Uncategorized couples, crap writting, drugwriting, drunkiegail, dunkiegail, emo, forgotten storms, I cant sleep, in the moment writting, insomnia, men, men suck, moving forward, poem, poems, rubbish, sad, sadness, wine, writting 6:07 am
A bottle of wine in and who are you?
I A wise lover to be headed
Or an old man looking for obedience
I am not your dog
But I will u bite..
Down on the hand of uniformity
We are not your progeny
We are our very own creatures
And we wait in the dark
The dark to you gave us to render you blind
And though you do not see us
We shall rise
And you,
Faint of heart
Shall crumble
We are the now
And you shall
Welcome us
Or
Fear the progress
Do not fear me
I am you
And i will come for you.
-A.s.L. =^.^=©
4 years later & late at night Thursday, Jan 30 2020
life is a jumbled poem and the late night write death, dunkiegail, emo, insomnia, loss, memorys, morning, mushroom man, mushroom man and baby bird, poetry, raymond, sadness, struggling, the late night write, writting 6:17 am
Sometimes I think about him and I miss him so much that it hurts
and in my pain I think I’m selfish for wanting one more conversation by the river
he doesn’t even need to hold me or touch me I just want to talk to him
one more time to toast with him and talk about the universe
To scold him for some of his opinions and then listen to all of his opinions
morning is so hard sometimesI feel like it can never end
I envy the people who go through all of the Motions all at once when they lose someone
I feel like I’ve locked so many things away that all the important things are in the back
there’s no way to get to them
but sometimes the light hits them just right and there they are looking back at me demanding that they are as important as they are and that I acknowledge them
just like that there’s a crack in the bucket
there’s a leak and before I can patch it it’s spilling all over the floor
but I always managed to seal it up
for a brief moment I had to be there and I have to write
it’s the only way to stay functional it’s my only Outlet
even though I once thought I was good at it regardless of if I am currently
its part of me
it’s all the notebooks under my bed
it’s all the regretful things that I wrote down
it’s morning it’s all of it
it’s me and i really miss him sometimes.
Heavy fish Friday, Jan 10 2020
life is a jumbled poem and men suck crap writting, emo, men, poem, sad, sadness, shit writing., short except of my life 7:31 pm
most days i bring a notebook with me
i rarley use it
mostly i force it
like homework on the way to school
most days
not today
i forgot my notebook
and my sense
i dont know the exact point i lost my hold
when my grip slipped
but it did
today it did
so quickly it all went south
it was smooth sailing
then it was a sinking ship
and were both going down
im not sorry
but i still wanna save you
i was always a great swimmer
it was my one active talent
i even saved someone once
he was tall and panicking
but i liked him
he was a good human
and with all my determination and love i towed him ashore
almost went under with a few times but we made it
i was younger then
i had that stupid optimism
that blatant disregard for self preservation
my attitude has lost its boyancey
i feel heavy
and i dont know if were gonna make it to shore this time
but i still wanna save you
Notes: I’m ok but today was not a good one so far, this must me spelled to shit cause my hands are shaking and wordpress mobile has really crummy spell check features on my phone. Sorry for that. Hope you you enjoyed this emo crap writing.
-A
mistake Saturday, Jan 4 2020
life is a jumbled poem and men suck fuck you, men suck, poems, poetry, rage, rants, sadness 7:19 pm
my fault
my fault
wait wait listen
I wanna tell you how I feel
no fuck you
and fuck me for trying
how dare I hope you would get it
shame
shame on me
I wish I didn’t have to boil over to write a good poem
I wish I could wait till you were gone to write down
look over my shoulder
feed the fire with wood and wows
then scream at me to put out the fire
the fire is dead
the embers arnt glowing
I’m tired and my tears are flammable
so tip me over and pour me out
go on
hit me like a wack a mole ill pop back up for round 2
then wait
cause your gone
and you’ve been gone
just another mistake
just another one of my mistakes
A poem never to finished Monday, Oct 21 2019
life is a jumbled poem and men suck and the late night write couples, crap writting, insanity, insomnia, literature, loss, love, men, moving forward, notes, numb, passion, poems, poetry, rant, rubbish, sadness, shit writing., the late night write, unfinished 4:19 am
Without him I shall write a thousand tragic endings, with Newfound freedom I shall let my inspiration go wild. With its own agency it will fly across the page ending only in a bonfire of a million notebooks, none fit for the eyes of any reader. Free in body but not in spirit. I lament my own folly. A trick I have played on myself. the only punchline is an unfinished poem and not even a good one.
Something to look upon Friday, Jan 11 2019
life is a jumbled poem and the late night write by me, insomnia, inspiration, loss, notes, numb, passion, poem, poems, poetry, sad, sadness, short creative writing, story 5:57 am
I find I write best when I am in a state of deep despair
we writers artists
those with the ink-stained fingertipss
and cries in our sleep
We create the most beautiful things out of the most decrepit
it is surviving
it is drinking in the water that sustains us
and also is us
it is releasing that water back to what nourishes us
What what hurt us by bearing us into this world
as we are
humans are unlike other creatures
we do things against our better judgment
we do not always do what is in our best interest
but we always do what we feel that is right
unless it is not right
Beauty comes from pain
strength from injury
wisdom from mistakes
we hold within us all of the knowledge in our very short life unless we will it from our heads unless we practice that will
to banish what torments us
we are not like other creatures
we do not do what is in our best interest
I do not do what is in my best interest
but I do what I feel is true to who I am
and when I am in a state of deep despair
I write the sweetest poetry
and to me
a person critical to myself more than any other
sweetness does not come lightly
and pain does not come easily
I have built up a large tolerance for it
I have ignored things
I have grown spoiled with technology
and distracted with mild pleasures
and pleasant evenings
I forgot how painful Being Human can be
But we will do what we feel like we need to do
and I feel like I need to spill it all out
whether to a page or a screen
fingertips cold from typing in the harsh winds
or black from a popped pen
because writers
because artists
have no other way to relieve the cries at night
or a deep states of despair
so we put it here
anyway we can
and we let it be
for someone to read or look upon
and connect with
because we are creatures that do not act within our best interest
Pitiful please at empty air Thursday, Jan 10 2019
life is a jumbled poem and men suck emo, fuck you, just so you know, letters, loss, love, men, notes, numb, poems, poetry, rant, rants, rubbish, sadness, shit writing. 9:12 pm
I want to call you
I want to call and yell and sob and question what it was that happened to make us go so far wrong
I want to ask you if you remembered telling me that you loved that I was talking to you
And that you never wanted me to stop
But you haven’t called
Haven’t texted
And it has been three days
Long days and sleepless nights
I have barley eaten
It’s a hunger strike against myself
Like somehow the lack of sustenance will dull the synchronous firing neurons in my head
Makeing me remember every little sweet things between us
It makes my stomach twist and ache
But I haven’t given it anything expell
All I have to expell is sad poetry and harsh words.
Doubt Wednesday, Mar 16 2016
life is a jumbled poem and life stuff poems, rants, sadness 3:57 am
What can fall from beneath our feet once the gound is already gone?
I used to ask myself that I’m fear and paranoia but I had no idea what I feared till now.
I’ll share with you what can cause such a sensation as loseing a stability that was never there.
It’s doubt.
When something you were certain of, something as solid as a rock in your hand is now a constant question. A question leading to riddle that’s answer is a math question. Doubt is what I was fearing And doubt is my newest dispare.
Thursday, Dec 11 2014
life is a jumbled poem p, poems, poetry, sad, sadness 1:47 am
Love like a sister
Be loyal like a brother
Kiss with the passion of a new lover
If you must fight
Do it for for a just cause
& Do so as tho if you do not win you shall die
If you must cry
Confront your problems
Show them your tears and be sure to get them all out
Never cry alone
Happiness tho seldom does happen
Enjoy it and never hide a smile if its real
This life is long and made for disappointment
So if you find your self happy
Be happy
-End
=^.^=©
the writing desk 