excerpt from the oyster Monday, Nov 30 2020

science takes some of the wonder out of love 

We say we feel it in our hearts 

But really its in our brain 

Chemicals rising and falling

Making us love sick 

Love is a sickness

Home sickness 

For a home you’ve never known

How can you feel like your both flying high and drowning simultaneously 

In both scenarios your finding it hard to breath 

Then you remember your lucky to be breathing at all

It’s the adrenaline

You can feel it in your skin 

Digging in 

To your chagrin 

Cause you had no plans on letting love in to begin with 

Developing an attraction to someone 

Brings out the same fight or flight reaction

That walking down a dark alley might

Dopamine rush keeps you coming back for more

Making it impossible to ignore

And as your serotonin skyrockets 

And then plummets 

You feel well

Thats just it

You feel 

This is your brain on love 

You start seeing all of the silver linings

You spend half the day wondering in your imagination wondering what the first kiss will feel like

How they will hold you at night 

Ad what it will be like o not sleep alone anymore

What it will be like to not be alone anymore 

And in the very same thought you think of all the things you’ll never have together

A picnic in the grass

Getting caught in the rain 

The warmth of the sun 

Bringing him home to meet your parents

I tried to reason with it 

I try to resist 

But but then the access dopamine as we made eye contact  and he didn’t look away 

He didn’t look away 

My whole life I grasped to the ether looking for something 

Anything to connect me back to this world 

For something that felt a little bit like home 

When I looked into his eyes

That’s exactly how I felt 

Home 

I was finally home 

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you are such a loser by Garfunkel and Oates Sunday, Nov 27 2016

​You didn’t do it didn’t reach your goal your heart is broken you’re an asshole at the end you didn’t have what it takes so here’s to you and all your mistakes You’re humiliated hollowed out and exhausted you were in the ring fighting the fight but you lost it this isn’t your time it wasn’t for you at least you did everything you could do you’re a loser but a dreamer you’re tired but you’re strong you’re going on no evidence you don’t listen to Common Sense you went all in and you were wrong you are such a loser good for you it’s something that a lot of people can’t do trying is hard that’s why people don’t do it losing is hard they can’t make it through it but not you you are such a loser here’s to you cuz you deserve a cheering section too throw your heart at it so what if you break it you know now that you’re strong enough to take it don’t let it break you don’t let ’em break you fake it keep going till you have a breakthrough Icarus is bullshit that’s why it’s called mythology people can’t stand genius without an apology forget that forget them go get what you want to get let them stay home and comment on the internet you’re a loser but a dreamer you’re tired but you’re strong you’re going on no evidence you don’t listen to Common Sense you went all in and you were wrong you are such a loser good for you it’s something that a lot of people can’t do trying is hard that’s why people don’t do it losing is hard they can’t make it through it but not you you are such a loser here’s to you cause you deserve a cheering section too you can only fall that far cuz you set yourself up so high who really cares that this time it didn’t fly at least you tried at least you’re not the guy watching from the side who thinks he’s doing better cause he wasn’t defeated when he’s just a nonentity who never competed you’re the one who’s out there reaching for something greater and you know it’s better to be a loser than a spectator and you are such a loser so here’s to you

I did not write this just love it and wanted to share it in its entirety

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